Is He Really A Believer?

Q. I am concerned about a statement made by my husband, what it means, and my response.  Supposedly he says he is a believer but is not living a very victorious Christian life.  He is an alcoholic and has distanced his entire family, all his former friends, and I am at the end of my tolerance as well.  He keeps asking the why does everyone hate me question and why no matter what I try can I never become successful (monetarily).   He has been fraudulent in business, thinks nothing of lying, and does it regularly.  I have tried to tell him that it may be possible the reasons for his failure is due to these very things.  He doesn’t want to hear it and thinks its a bunch of bull.

In this most recent discussion, in which he asked me what I think, he prefaced it with ” and don’t give me any Holy Spirit crap”.  That ended our discussion but I later pointed him to the scripture about blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.  Is it possible that he is not really saved to be able to say that kind of thing?  How does someone who is supposed to have the Holy Spirit dwelling in them say something like that?   I know about besetting sin and that we are all sinners, that is not my biggest concern right now.  My concern is for his total lack of fear of the Lord to be able to say things like this.  Can a person like this really be a believer? Or are they just a make-believer?  The fruit tells me the latter.  I’d appreciate any insight you can give me on this.  I am at my wits end!

A. Only the Lord knows for sure if your husband is saved.  While his behavior makes one wonder, it’s what’s in his heart that counts.  He could be in a state of rebellion over his inability to control his alcoholism.  All we can say is that if he was ever saved, then He’s forever saved.  I would suggest you study the parable of the Prodigal Son  (Luke 15:11-31) and pray that the Lord would deliver him from his addiction and bring him back into  fellowship.

Often when someone complains that no one likes them, it really means they don’t like themselves.  True, it’s his failure to change his mind about his behavior and confess his sin that’s holding him back, because it’s depriving him of the Lord’s blessing.  But it’s the Holy Spirit who will convict him and that can’t happen until he sees the Lord as the one who rescues him, not the one who judges him. It’s His kindness that leads us toward repentance. (Romans 2:4)