Am I Giving Enough?

Every time our Pastor prays he includes giving to God what is God’s, be generous. I feel guilty that I can’t give more than I do already. My husband and I are on an aged pension, sometimes its hard. Am I being selfish?

Q. I have a question that bothers me very much, my husband (not a Christian) and I have supported a child in Brazil for the past 8 years. Also at my church I give what I can when I can, yet every time our Pastor prays he includes giving to God what is God’s, be generous. I feel guilty that I can’t give more than I do already. My husband and I are on an aged pension, sometimes its hard. Am I being selfish?

Also, a couple of weeks ago, my husband asked me this question “if Jesus was standing before you today and gave you the choice of going with Him or staying with me, who would you choose?” I answered my husband honestly “I would choose Jesus”, my husband said that our marriage vows and marriage couldn’t mean very much to me then. I told him not to lay this guilt trip on me, that he asked the question and I answered him honestly. I told him that Jesus comes first. He took it quite well. I am stumped about why he asked me that out of the blue, could it be Satan trying it on, or could my husband be thinking about things. I don’t know. What do you think?

A. Your pastor, like many do, is trying to guilt people into giving more. It shows that he’s depending more on mankind than on God to meet the needs of the church. You shouldn’t fault him for this, but recognize that’s what’s going on. If you feel like you’re giving all that God requires of you, then set your heart at rest and assume the pastor’s hints are intended for someone else. (1 John 3:18-20)

Your husband wants to be the most important person in your life and can’t understand why you would put someone he doesn’t even believe in ahead of him. He asked you the question because he’s jealous of your love for the Lord and wanted you to reassure him. This is not limited to those who are unequally yoked. Even believers have this problem because we all want to think we’re the most important person in our loved one’s life. But at least believers know that there’s a difference between the love we feel for our Lord and the love we have for our spouse. Not being a believer, your husband doesn’t have that perspective.