Relationship Problems

I have a serious problem in my life and I am unsure what to do about it. I am currently living with a man (we are not married). He doesn’t see what is happening in the world the way I do and he seems to do everything he can to prove me wrong about the End of Days approaching. I love this man but I don’t really want to marry him with the way his belief system is.

Q. I have a serious problem in my life and I am unsure what to do about it. I am currently living with a man (we are not married). He doesn’t see what is happening in the world the way I do and he seems to do everything he can to prove me wrong about the End of Days approaching. I love this man but I don’t really want to marry him with the way his belief system is.

I feel far away from the Lord sometimes when he is at home and I feel like Satan is working through him to discourage me. I am constantly reading your website and the bible to keep a strong hold on my love for Christ. I feel such conviction for not being married but I don’t want to have to divorce for the second time. It never bothered me to not be married until I began my walk with Jesus. I feel that the Holy Spirit is making me feel convicted and I just don’t know what to do. Everything going on in the world is so clear to me and I am baffled that he doesn’t see it. I can almost feel Jesus in the room. I don’t want to be left behind!!!

A. I’m convinced that the Lord judges us according to the motives of our hearts. I’ve met couples who in their hearts are as married as anyone I know but have never formalized their relationships in the eyes of the law. They see themselves as married and I believe the Lord does too. But your statement that you “really don’t want to marry him the way his belief system is” indicates to me that this is not the case with you.

If you remain as you are, you risk being out of fellowship with the Lord, and fair game for our enemy who will gleefully use your partner to steal your joy. Being a believer, you won’t be jeopardizing your salvation and won’t be left behind, but the contention in your relationship will only get worse as you grow in your faith and you will live a defeated life as a Christian.

The conviction you’ve felt since becoming a believer is the Holy Spirit admonishing you to change the nature of your relationship. If you love this man, and want a life with him that’s also pleasing to the Lord, you have to bring it into compliance with Biblical standards for unmarried couples, and give him an opportunity to see you as a faithful Christian woman. To me this means living separately and remaining chaste.

If he truly loves you, this could lead to a new relationship that brings him to the Lord and achieves fulfillment in marriage. But it could also cause Him to move on. Either way, the Lord has promised to work everything out for your good, as one who loves Him.(Romans 8:28)