Can He Leave Me For Not Being Submissive Enough?

Q. My husband basically told me he wanted a separation and for my 2 yr old daughter and I to find someplace to live because I am not “surrendering in everything he directs.”  He says he has a right to separate me because I am not following the Bible- being totally submissive. Any thought is greatly appreciated!

A. I think you should consider the possibility that your husband has other reasons for wanting a separation that he’s not sharing with you, because failing to be a properly submissive wife is not a Biblically justified reason for asking you to leave. Besides, the same passages that call for wives to be submissive also call for husbands to love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Ephesians 5:22-28, Colossians 3:18-19, and 1 Peter 3:1-7 all tell us that a marital relationship is a two way street. Neither party can expect compliance from their spouse  unless they also accept responsibility for their part.  And even then it’s not a question of who does what, or when.  In a truly loving relationship, both parties are voluntarily compliant as a sign of their love for each other and for the Lord, who is the third party in every Christian marriage.

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