I just listened to a sermon by (a well known evangelical pastor). He said that he would NEVER marry two men or two women. He didn’t care if they lived together or had a contract together but marriage is holy and God does speak out against it!!! You told that person that by attending that wedding she wasn’t condoning it. Oh yes they were. Condoning means to accept or treat something as acceptable. Jesus did hang out with sinners. But He is God … we are not.
Yes, Jesus is God and we are not, but we are His body on Earth. When He wants to go somewhere He sends us. He routinely criticized the Pharisees for shunning sinners, and said that the prostitutes and tax collectors would enter the Kingdom before them. Of course that can’t happen with us, but He did say that as He loved us, we must love one another, and that the world would know we are his by our love. (John 13:34-35) As He often demonstrated, loving someone is different from condoning their behavior.
When a pastor conducts a wedding, it’s a different story, because He is on official business, not attending a social event. As such he is in the position of authorizing the marriage on behalf of both God and the state. Like the one you mentioned, I would never agree to officiate at a gay marriage, nor should any pastor.