Q. I just read your articles about homosexuals being raptured and inheriting the Kingdom of God. I’ve been saved countless of times only to find myself doing it again, a month or so later cause I feel like I either didn’t mean it or I was never saved because I kept on doing my sin, which is homosexuality. I am a homosexual, and it hurts, a lot. No one who is “straight” can understand this, I often feel alone and left out among my heterosexual friends. I mean I can be walking down the street and I see a good looking guy and the pain I feel, it is a burning pain in my chest that I can literally feel and when its over I go into such a period of depression, because I know that I am wrong. I am sinning and I just wish I was free. Lately I have been so far away from God, I have even questioned His presence.
I say that He has never spoken to me but I really don’t believe that because certain things I know were an answer from Him or an intervention. I just feel so lost, confused and hopeless. I know He still loves me, but I told my friends once I would rather not be serving Him than living a double life and mocking His Kingdom. I know that sounds terrible but its how I have felt sometimes.
I read those articles about homosexuals and the rapture, so what are we supposed to do then? OK so we don’t get left behind (THANK GOD), but what are we supposed to do? Especially with this sin that literally cripples those who see it for what it really is and know what is truly happening. What do we do?
A. The first thing is to realize that the very first time you sincerely asked the Lord to save you, He did. He marked you and put His Holy Spirit within you to signify that you are His forever. (Ephes. 1:13-14)
The next thing is to understand that salvation and deliverance don’t always happen at the same time. You don’t have to keep asking for salvation, but by all means keep praying for deliverance. In the mean time, like an unmarried heterosexual you should abstain from sexual relations. You might not be able to change the way you feel, but you can change the way you act. Ask for His help in doing this. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 explains that you have the power to do this, but like most things it takes practice.
The guilt you feel afterwards is the Holy Spirit convicting you of sin. Believers who have sex with women outside of marriage experience the same conviction. Like them, you can confess and be forgiven (1 John 1:9) no matter how many times you fall, because every sin of your life is already known and was paid for at the cross. You’re not working to achieve salvation here, you’re working to achieve victory. The devil knows he can’t have you for eternity, so he’s trying to make you as miserable as he can while he can. In the strength of the Lord you can beat him.