Q. I have theological questions about divorce, remarriage and the single life. The matter weighs me down quite a lot. I was divorced some time ago for reasons other than adultery. It was an abusive situation and I didn’t know what else to do. I’ve been single for 15 years but have participated in cyber sex and have had three actual sexual encounters during that time. While I’m not in any kind of relationship I would like to know if the opportunity ever presented itself, would I be free to marry again or am I required to remain single.
A. When people write in to ask if they’ve sinned by getting a divorce (for reasons other than adultery) and then re-marrying, I always say that they have but that the Lord forgave all their sins at the cross, so they should just confess so they can be forgiven and get on with their lives. I don’t think the Lord would intend for them to break up another family.
In your case it’s a little different because you’re asking in advance whether re-marriage in your circumstances is permitted in the Bible. Paul answered this question in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 which says,
A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
Since you did not end your first marriage because of adultery it would be a sin for you to re-marry should the opportunity present itself. You’re a born again believer, so all the sins of your life are already forgiven. Therefore committing this sin would not jeopardize your salvation, but like any act of willful disobedience it could carry some serious earthly consequences.