Q. I have a question about marriage. I have seem to be at the end of the rope with mine. This is my second marriage and I am emotionally overwhelmed. To make a long story short, my husband has an addiction to pain meds. He is verbally abusive, lazy, irresponsible, a liar, and an addict. I have forgiven many times before but I feel drained. I do not think I can move forward with this marriage.
Since God hates divorce,do you think this is my Father’s will that I stay in a relationship that is not healthy for either me or my children and continue with my faith on the Lord for deliverance? Is it wrong for me to want to leave him? I want so much to please God but I am not happy. Everyday is a struggle and I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know the Lord sees motive, and I fear that my motive is not to help my husband by leaving, but rather to satisfy my unhappiness that I feel around him.
A. You didn’t mention if your husband is a believer or if you’ve considered a trial separation to see if that will get his attention. Nor did you say anything about any attempts at counseling. This tells me you may be right about your motives, that you’re looking for a way out of the marriage, instead of looking for a way to fix it. Check yourself on this. Having been divorced before maybe your initial instinct is to leave when you’re unhappy. My advice is to get some counseling to help you talk this through before you make any decisions, so you don’t wind up in the same situation a few years from now with another man.