I was raised in the church and taught a “Dispensational and pre-tribulational” view. I still believe it to the depths of my soul and believe Scripture teaches it. However, when I see things written today about what will take place, such as the Rapture, etc, it comes across “cultic.” Suddenly it sounds ridiculous like we’re some sort of “Heavens Gate” cultist’s waiting for the ultimate alien to rescue us. When I was growing up it didn’t come across that way, why now? I don’t like that and I ask the Lord to help me see it the way he does.
The difference between when you were a kid and now is that it’s all becoming more real. Dispensationalism is no longer just a system of thought like it was then. Each day it’s looking more and more like a chain of events that will actually take place in our lifetime. The more real something gets the more challenging it becomes to the status quo, and the more it causes us to question our assumptions. You’re in the middle of a paradigm shift, so it’s natural for you to feel uncomfortable. Once you come out the other side your confidence in your convictions will be restored.
You can accelerate the process by applying the “act as if” principle. It’s based on the old adage that says, “If what you say you believe doesn’t result in action, it’s doubtful that you really believe it.” Paul said it more bluntly. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:2)
Begin by asking yourself, “If I was really convinced I only had a couple of years left to make my life count for the Lord, would I be spending my (time, money, energy, talent,etc.) differently? If the answer is yes, begin making small adjustments in your lifestyle to align your actions more closely with your beliefs. Start with small steps and make them larger as you gain confidence.
As you do, you should also study 2 Cor. 10:3-5. Take your conflicting thoughts captive and make them obedient to what the Lord says about the end times.