It seems like the more I seek to live for the Lord the harder He makes it for me. I can not understand why He allows such bad things to happen in my life. I preached to my wife and daughter and led them to Christ. But the more I turn to the Lord, it seems the more He turns away from me and crushes me, and now we are all depressed and despondent. Sometimes it scares me what God will allow in a person’s life. How can I lead other people to Christ and say to them, just trust the Lord for the better, after what he’s done to me?
First, whoever taught you that God allowed these things into your life did you a great disservice because now you’re blaming Him instead of the real guilty party. 1 John 5:19 tells us that even though we’re children of God the whole world is under the control of the evil one. He’s the one you should be blaming.
As long as you keep blaming God, these things will continue to happen to you because by blaming Him you’re playing right into the enemy’s hands, and he’s not going to abandon a working strategy.
Second, I believe you may be in a time of spiritual warfare. You should study 2 Corinthians 10:3-5. It tells you not to be misled by pretensions that set themselves against your knowledge of God, but to take them captive and make them obedient to Christ. And Ephesians 6:10-18 tells you how to make sure you’re equipped for battle.
Remember, He loved you enough to die for you while you still hated Him (Ephes 2:1-5). Do you really think that now that you love Him and want to serve Him He’s going turn away from you and make you suffer? Of course not. This is the devil’s work. James 4:7-8 tells you to resist the devil and he’ll flee from you, and to draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
You can’t truly draw near to God while you’re blaming Him for all your problems. Confess your sin of false accusation and He will forgive you. This will purify you from all unrighteousness and you’ll be able to get close to Him again (1 John 1:9). When that happens your spirit will be uplifted and your depression will be gone.