Q. I’ve been married to the same man for 21 years, and we have two sons. During all this time, for the most part, I have been the main bread winner. For long stretches of time, the longest being 4 years, my husband has not worked.
It’s not that he won’t work per se, but he’s not the type to go out and search consistently until he finds a job, he always waits for work to come to him, via family members etc. We are both believers, and have been since we were kids. There fore I just don’t understand how a man can sit at home day after day after day, while his wife gets up everyday and goes off to work, so that the family can eat and have a roof over their heads. I will never understand how he can watch me struggle so hard to keep us afloat financially, while he sits and does nothing.
I’m tired of getting very little in return in the way of a loving gentle caring husband. He basically treats me like a room mate, except he doesn’t help with the rent and groceries. I understand what Christ said about the biblical reasons for divorce, but would He expect me to keep up this charade, and keep caring for someone financially who clearly has the ability to get up off the sofa and get a job and help me?
A. Here’s what the Bible says.
“If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8)
“For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.” (2 Thes. 3:10)
Whether you divorce him or not is between you and the Lord, but you’re certainly not required to support him. It appears that in his heart he left you long ago and is not acting like a husband in any sense of the word. Tell him it’s time for him to shape up or ship out.