Am I Unequally Yoked?

Q. I would first like to say thank you for all you do on this website. It has truly been a blessing to me in my life. I work the kind of job in which I am not able to attend church every Sunday. I am a nurse and I work every other weekend and most Wednesdays. It is very nice to have a way to get small devotionals in to feed my spirit.

I have a problem though. I love my husband and he is a good man. I feel he is unequally yolked with me and it gets worse the more I go to church and want to be involved with the Lord. He will go with me when I am able though he always lets me know he only does it for me. He also doesn’t believe in tithing to the church. He has gotten to wear he will tithe; but I know it is not with a open heart. I feel like he resents me for it. I am constantly getting looks when I read my bible or spiritual books in my own home. He thinks I am a fanatic. And that believe it or not is very painful and heartbreaking. I no longer feel connected to him emotionally. I no longer desire him. I pray for him and for God to open his eyes. I also pray for myself to have those feeling for him again. It is just very hard to see a future for us when I am going forward and he is not in his relationship with Christ. I have brought this up to him and we have had many arguments on this topic.

I feel like I am wasting my time. I don’t believe in divorce, but I don’t want to live my life disappointed and unfulfilled. He says he believes in God and is Saved but not the Church. He says he doesn’t feel the need to go to church that he can worship God anywhere. I agree to some extent. But I also believe it is good to worship and feed your spirit. As a Christian I yearn for that and want more of it. I just don’t understand why he doesn’t.

A. If your husband is a believer then you can’t be unequally yoked, because by definition unequally yoked means being married to an unbeliever. But even if you were, Paul spoke against leaving an unbelieving spouse because of religion. (1 Cor 7:13) In verses 17-24 Paul repeatedly advised us to remain in the position to which the Lord has assigned us.

You say you love your husband and the only problem is your more intense interest in Biblical things. Study 1 Peter 3:1-6 and then try the more subtle approach he suggests. Your husband may be threatened by the fact that you’re moving ahead of him in the Spiritual area, so don’t be so obvious or insistent. Without abandoning your own convictions, give him time to catch up. If he doesn’t want to go to church with you, don’t force him. If he thinks you’re spending too much time reading and studying, he may resent the time it’s taking from him, so find a time to do it when he’s not around.

Arguing often forces people into positions that are more extreme than they would otherwise have taken. When one party backs away it gives the other party room to do the same. Obviously you should continue praying about this. But don’t pray that your husband will see things your way. Pray that God will help you restore the intimacy and mutual respect you and your husband once had for each other. When he wants to be with you and to please you, he’ll find that going to church with you isn’t so bad after all. And who knows, you might even wind up studying the Bible together.

Share Button