Q. I have fallen into a grievous sin that I can’t seem to get away from. I am concerned because I am not very sensitive to it anymore even though I know it is sinful. Is there any way for me to regain that “innocence” and sensitivity to this sin that I once had when I first got saved? I long for it but am convinced that I will never have it again. I can’t even cry about it anymore and that makes me sad.
A. All relationships are vulnerable to this problem, whether human or spiritual. It stems from becoming too comfortable in the relationship. One of the most difficult things to do in a mature committed relationship is to treat the other party like we did when the relationship was new. We forget that love is not just something we feel, it’s also something we do. The act of loving nurtures the feeling of love.
Jesus criticized the Church in Ephesus for this problem. After commending them for their hard work and perseverance, He said they had forsaken their first love (Rev. 2:4). In other words, they had become so busy in the work of the Kingdom they had no time left for the King. He told them to go back to doing the things they did at first. He was reminding them that He didn’t save them because He needed their help. He saved them because He wanted their love.
Check to see if this applies in your case. Are you still doing the things you did at first? Do you still look forward to spending time in worship and prayer? Or just being alone with Him? Do you eagerly read His word to learn more about Him? Do you seek His advice and counsel even in small matters? If not, go back to doing those things as an act of love.
Do them even if at first you don’t feel like it, because if you keep it up you’ll discover you’re beginning to look forward to them again, just like you used to. You’ll find yourself regaining your innocence and your sensitivity to sin as well. You will be coming back to your first love and it will be like a tremendous weight being lifted off your shoulders.
Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28)