Q. My husband had a history of adultery. I turned a blind eye for many years. Over a year and a half ago he left me and the children for another woman. He has been living with his mistress for over a year. Because of financial reasons on his part and child custody issues ( he was absent for four months) we are still legally married under state law. I filed over a year ago and it’s finally coming to an end. About 6 months ago I started seeing a long time friend. We have fallen in love and plan to marry. His family are very quick to judge and claim that I am committing adultery because I am still legally married. The bible says that God hates divorce unless adultery is committed. In my heart I tried everything. My husband cheated and abandoned me and the children. I prayed and God sent me this wonderful man I have now committed my life to. I no longer have any love for my legal husband and I feel that under God’s law we are divorced. What is more important, state law or Gods law?
A. Obviously God’s law is more important than state law, and from only hearing your side of the story it appears that you have Biblical grounds to divorce your husband. But 1 Thes. 5:22 tells us to avoid even the appearance of evil. By taking up with an old friend while you’re still legally married you’ve created the appearance of evil in the eyes of your friend’s family, and they see you as being involved in an improper relationship. If you want to avoid this criticism, I advise you to conclude the divorce proceedings as quickly as possible and to keep your relationship with your friend on a friendship basis until you’re free to do otherwise.