Help Me Save My Marriage

Q. My wife and I have been married for 8+ years and in the last 2 months she became distant. 3 weeks ago she told me she had been speaking to someone else on the internet and that she had very strong feeling for him. She has meet up with him once that I know of. She told me she needed some space but it has escalated to the point where anything I say to her she takes as a personal attack on her she thinks I am trying to control her every move and that I am nothing but a burden to her. Please help I am lost. And I am afraid of losing the love of my life.

A. Unfortunately there’s nothing that one person can do to control the emotions of another. For some reason your wife has become lonely and started looking for attention from someone else. This is a violation of the promise she made to you, but it happens just as often in Christian marriages as it does with non-believers. If she’s a Christian and listens for the voice of the Lord she’ll hear Him counseling her to remain faithful to you.

For your part, you have to figure out how you helped to cause her loneliness. Satisfied, contented wives don’t go looking elsewhere. Maybe there’s time for you to put this back together by being as attentive as you used to be, and making her the center of your life again. Ephesians 5:25 says we’re supposed to love our wives just as Christ loved the Church and give ourselves up for them. Love is a verb, not just an emotion. In other words, it’s something you do, not just feel.

I don’t know if this can be fixed or not. But if she really is the love of your life then she’s worth apologizing to and fighting for. She’s also worth praying for. Get to work and keep praying.

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