How can a church tell someone they cannot join the church because they are not married to the person they are living with, knowing the person is hungering to get their life straightened out? Didn’t Jesus give the living water to sinners, the ones who thirst after the Word?
You join the Church by trusting your life to Jesus. He will accept you just as you are. What you’re trying to do is become a member of a congregation.
But even so, having a sexual relationship outside of marriage is considered sinful in the Bible. By living with someone you’re not married to your pastor is assuming you’re having an illicit sexual relationship. If that’s true and you’re really trying to get your life straightened out, you should either marry the person you’re living with or stop living together.
Yes Jesus did give the living water to sinners, but then He told them to live lives that are pleasing to God. That’s what your Pastor is asking you to do as well.