I am struggling on my path. I was raised Baptist, baptized at 14, witnessed on the street as a teen, had some tough years until about 25 and my husband and I were baptized together, he for the first time, me as a re-dedication. A few years ago I began studying world religions. From Buddhism, Wicca, paganism in various forms, and Gnosticism, to name a few. Now, I am not a Buddhist or a Wiccan, but Gnosticism and mysticism have caused me to question many things. I also have great respect for all faiths and wonder why these people would be sentenced to Hell.
Yes, you are struggling. It’s because you’re doing the very thing the Bible warns against, and that’s listening to false teachers. Only one Book of Holy writings has validated itself as being true. That’s the Bible and it’s validated through almost 6000 years of predictive prophecy. It proves itself beyond question to be God’s written word and everything that conflicts with it is heresy, no matter how much good it does or now nice it feels.
You keep going in the direction you’re headed and you’ll wind up out smarting yourself just like King Solomon did. His quest for knowledge and his fascination with other religions took him from monotheism to polytheism to pantheism and wound up bringing down the Kingdom that God had given him.
Please ask the Lord to forgive you for flirting with false gods and take the time you’ve been spending with them to really study God’s word. The answers to all of your questions are contained there.