I’m terrified that I’m a waste of Christ’s blood, and when I die I won’t get any rewards. I can’t help be scared. I was a dud Christian that didn’t even deposit the one talent I was given to get interest. Is it wrong for me to think this way?
Yes, it is. Thoughts like this are from the enemy who is trying to steal your joy in the Lord. These thoughts contradict your knowledge of God. Take them captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Cor. 10:3-5). You do this by reminding yourself that before you did anything for Him, He loved you enough to die in your place so you can have eternal life in His kingdom (Ephesians 2:4-5).
In John 15:4-5 the Lord said that apart from Him we can do nothing of value to the Kingdom. That means the only things for which we’ll receive rewards are those things He prompted us to do and that we did in His strength.
To me that means everyone will be surprised to learn which of his or her actions qualify for rewards and which don’t. Because our own pride contaminates everything we do, I’m convinced that many of our rewards will come from things we don’t even remember doing and some of the things we’re proudest of will be burned in the fire.
But if you want to do more for the Lord, ask Him for direction and then follow His lead. If we remain in Him, He will remain in us and we’ll bear much fruit.