Q. Our son and his fiancee are traveling east to visit a potential grad school for her. Because it is a long distance they will be staying in hotels along the way. They told us they will be sharing a bed, but will not have sex as they want to wait until they are married. I believe sharing a bed with someone before you are married is wrong, even if you don’t have sex and it’s putting themselves into temptation. They don’t see anything wrong with it. What advice can I share with them?
A. In the Biblical culture, betrothed couples were not allowed to be alone at all, but always had to have a chaperon. Often it was the Groom’s mother. (This is still true today in many countries.) Our western culture is more relaxed in this regard, and in fact many couples are intimate before marriage and may have even had other sexual partners prior to meeting. Your son and his fiancee should be commended for their commitment to remain pure until they’re married. But they should also be reminded that in 1 Thes. 5:22 Christians are admonished to avoid even the appearance of evil, which means that we shouldn’t place ourselves in a situation where our actions could be misconstrued by others.