Stand By Your Man

Q. I want to thank you for your web site. It has been a great blessing and it has given me a better understanding on scripture that otherwise I would not have understood.

I know that I must take my problem to the Lord in prayer, and I have, I just want some advice from you on my situation. My husband ( who is a new believer) I believe has an addiction to prescription drugs. Last year he went through back surgery, but before his surgery, his pain he said, came from his knee, his head, or some other place. He has been taking pain medicine before his surgery. Since I met my husband he has taken over the counter sleeping pills. And I know now he combines these with his prescribed pain medicine. I am sure he does not tell the Dr. he takes sleeping pills. But he continues using his pain killers for his back. He insists the Dr. knows what he is doing therefore it is ok for him to take. The medicine has affected all of us. He is always grumpy, tired, frustrated, and does not think rationally, he lies, and sometimes falls asleep at church service. I know my faith is in the Lord to heal him from all his addictions. But I don’t think his is. I truly believe he knows in his mind that Jesus is the truth but does not believe whole heartedly. I am at a breaking point and I have thought about asking him to leave the house, not so much a divorce but some time for him to reflect. He has no family and only two close friends, So I do not know how much that would help him if any. Please what do you think. Do you think I should ask him to leave? Is a separation a sin according to the bible?

A. As long as the ultimate goal is to repair the marriage, and if that’s the only way to get your husband to face his addiction problem, then there’s no sin in requiring a temporary separation to show him how serious this is and to convince him to get help. It’s the motive of our heart that the Lord judges, and if your motive is to save the marriage He will bless you.

But consider this. You’re asking him to choose you over his addiction, and he may not do it which I am assuming would end the marriage. Therefore you must be certain in your heart that your goal is to restore the union. If he wants to end it, that has to be his decision. But if he gets the help he needs, you have to stand by him and remain pure in your motives and your actions until the issue is resolved and you’re back together.

Share Button