Q. I have a serious problem and don’t know what to do about it. My father passed away recently. It was very sudden, and ever since then my mother has been very nasty to me and my husband. I pray for her everyday, but recently it got so bad I finally sat down and told God that I was turning everything over to him since I couldn’t handle the burden any longer. I thought that by doing that I would feel better but I don’t. What you think I should do?
A. It sounds like your mother might be angry over her husband’s death. Perhaps she’s really mad at God but is taking it out on you. I think your best strategy is the one you’ve begun, and that’s to let go and place the whole matter in his hands. Psalm 55:22 tells us, “Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall.”
And 1 Peter 5:5-7 says, “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
The fact that you don’t feel any peace yet means in your heart you haven’t really given up the responsibility for the outcome yet. Humble yourself and ask the Lord to forgive you for any part you have in this and then ask Him to forgive your mother as well. Give Him permission to resolve this matter any way He sees fit.
Keep doing this until you feel the peace you’re seeking. It’s called making a contrary to feelings choice, and it can take some time. But if you keep doing it your feelings will change and align themselves with your actions. This is what Peter meant by saying God will lift you up in due time.
Remember, His preference is always reconciliation, so don’t be surprised if He does this for you.