Why Am I Still Alive?


I am 71 years old, a Christian since age 10. I never asked to be born, I wish I hadn’t been born—having suffered from depression all my life. How can God condemn me or someone like me to hell. I don’t want to live—-I didn’t want to be born– yet here I am living and if I wasn’t a Christian I would be condemned to hell. If I had not had a Christian upbringing, I would commit suicide, but do not believe that is right. I have never understood why someone who doesn’t want to live has to live. I have prayed numerous times at night not to wake up, but I wake up and have to face a new day each day.


I can sympathize with your situation, but please allow me to correct a few things in your statement. God doesn’t condemn anyone to Hell. People condemn themselves by not believing the Son of God died for our sins and rose again. John 3:18 says, “Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.”

And in 2 Peter 3:9 we read, He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

Also, God is not to blame for your emotional state. Sickness and disease came into the world because of sin, not because of God. So if you want to blame someone, blame Satan. He’s the one who tried to ruin God’s creation by introducing sin into the world.

According to Psalm 90:10, you’ve just reached the lower end of an average life span. Maybe you’re still alive because there’s a purpose for your life that hasn’t been fulfilled. It’s not too late to focus on finding that purpose. Instead of praying that you will die tonight, try asking the Lord what He would like you to do with your life. You’ll find that doing so will help you start feeling better, too.