Do I Have To Take Him Back?

Q. My husband left me and my children to set up home with another woman, causing much hurt and rejection. Two years on, I actually feel that he did me a favor, having been relieved of a very difficult marriage. I can now be at peace to follow God without having to hide the spiritual side of my life. My dilemma is this. Having realized his mistake and having a new found belief in the Lord, my husband wants to try to make amends. The problem is I’ve moved on and don’t want to.

I’m afraid that this is God’s will for me; that I should take him back the same as God has done for Israel on numerous occasions. It’s not that I haven’t forgiven my husband – I have. I just want something different for my life.

Will God be disappointed or angry with me if I don’t? I’m concerned that God won’t trust me to do His will in other areas if I can’t manage this. I’m so confused.

A. Deut. 24:1-4 prohibits a man from re-marrying a woman he has divorced if she has become the wife of another man in the meantime. In 1 Cor. 7:12-16 Paul said that a believer has no ongoing obligation to an unbeliever who leaves the marriage.

If I understand your letter, you say that your ex husband has now become a believer and wants to make things right by you. Do you think that he’s sincere in his belief, or is his new life not as fulfilling to him as he had hoped?

Regardless, I don’t see any Biblical obligation on your part to take him back. If you’re quite certain that the Lord is calling you to do this then of course you should do it, knowing that He’ll restore your love for this man in return for your obedience.

But frankly, it sounds to me like both of you may be considering a reunion out of guilt and fear, him being guilty for leaving you in the first place and you being fearful of disappointing the Lord.

These are not good motives for making a life long commitment. If you had been on your knees praying for this to happen, that would be one thing, but this appears to be something else altogether.

Please be very careful that you have independent confirmation of the Lord’s will for you in this before taking any action.

Share Button