I have a complex life, I feel. I’m a 14 year old believer. However, my family members are Buddhists. I became a Christian at 7 years old by some tuition teachers that are Christians themselves (Praise God) and they actually threatened to chase me out of the house. 7 years have passed and I have been following Jesus Christ silently and sometimes I don’t really know what to do.
Firstly, I regret not being able to worship Jesus Christ openly because of my family background. Secondly, they worship all those idols and sometimes I even have to do that and then I feel so sorry and keep praying to Lord asking him to forgive me. I really don’t know if God is angry at me. I really want to go to church and read the Bible. Will Jesus even accept me when I do not worship him openly?
Sometimes I feel that I’m on the verge of losing God and it seems so hard to please him and so easy to lose him. I’m feeling scared in my heart that I may accidentally anger him by sinning and that he will leave me. What should I do?
In John 6:37-40 Jesus said, “All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.”
Once you’ve given your heart to Jesus He’ll never get angry with you and send you away. When you first believed, He sent His Holy Spirit to be sealed within you as a guarantee of your inheritance (Ephes. 1:13-14) He died for every sin of your life so that you could live in peace with Him. (Colossians 1:19-20) You can’t commit any unforgivable sins and God will never leave you.
As for worshiping Him openly, your position with Him is based on your faith, not on your behavior. There are millions of people like you who can’t worship openly but are still saved. He knows how you feel and will honor that as you worship Him in secret.
The only thing you can do for your family is also the best thing. Pray for them, that God would open their hearts like He has yours.