Q. My ex-husband sexually abused his daughter and stepdaughter. I know I’m supposed to forgive him and I’ve tried but when I think of him doing this I get angry and want to hurt him. I ask God to forgive me when I do this but it’s been a long time and I don’t know if I’m doing this right. He has never asked for forgiveness or admitted any wrong doing. Please advise me on what to do and what God expects of me. I am saved and have been for many years. Thank you.
A. God wants you to keep asking Him to forgive your ex-husband for the abuse and you for your anger until your feelings align with your choice to forgive. Feeling the way you do is a sign that you haven’t forgiven your ex-husband, and your anger is harming you more than him. In Ephesians 4:31-32 Paul said, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Forgiving others is not about what they did to us or those we love. It’s about demonstrating our gratitude to the Lord for forgiving us. He will deal with your ex and bring you peace.