4 yrs ago I lost my wife. We served and loved the Lord for many years together. I led her to Him and know with all my heart she was saved and now is with Him. But since this happened I have slid so far from God. I have withdrawn from any organized church teachings, for I was led to believe that with prayer and faith my wife wouldn’t die. I was told that just by speaking it in faith and standing on his word she would be healed. I did all that and when my wife was called home I lost my faith in Him. Now I have this deep yearning to get back. But how do I ask Him to forgive me for the bitterness I have had and really expect to be forgiven?
The Lord promised we could be healed of our diseases (James 5:14-15) but He never said we could live forever. And because of my studies on our life to come, I’ve begun to see death as the perfect healing. Paul said, “To live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil 1:21).
Your sadness and bitterness over this were not a surprise to the Lord. He knew about these things when He went to the cross and He forgave you for them there (Colossians 2:13-14) long before you were born. Remember, His was a once-for-all-time sacrifice for sins (Hebrews 10:12).
You can expect to be forgiven because the Bible says if we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). It’s a promise from God.
Think of the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32). When the son realized his mistake, turned back to his father, and sought his forgiveness, it was immediately and unconditionally granted. So it is with the Lord. He’s been waiting for you to return, and when you do you will be immediately and unconditionally forgiven.
I encourage you to turn to Him now and bring this time of sadness to an end. You’ll soon be with your wife again, but by receiving the Lord’s forgiveness you’ll be able to serve and love Him again in the time between now and then.