Q. I am married with two small children. I really feel blessed by what Jesus did for me and I have a very big desire to serve in many ways within our church and outside. The problem comes in where my wife feels I need to be home entertaining her and the children. Now I’m not talking about going away and serving for an extended period of time on the mission fields. The only time I spend time away from them is work or a church related event. My question is: where do my main obligations lie? I know family is second to God, but if I feel a strong need to serve should I feel guilty sometimes putting family second?
A. You make your own motives sound pure, but the way you describe your wife’s objections makes her sound insecure and immature. (What do you mean by “home entertaining her and the children”?) So here are some things you should consider as you search for the real issue here.
1. Are you certain the Lord is calling you to a more active level of service?
2. When you’re at home now are you really there or are you often preoccupied by other things?
3. Are there already work related responsibilities that sometimes keep you away from home in the evenings?
4. Does your wife feel abandoned and trapped in her life while you go off doing your own thing without her?
If God is really calling you this obstacle wouldn’t appear in your path unless He wants you to resolve it. But if He’s not calling you, it could mean that the enemy is using religious service as a tool to cause strife in your marriage. It’s a common tactic of his and works well because it appeals to our religious motives.