I think I have committed the unforgivable sin by rejecting the Holy Spirit’s grace. Something happened to me in 2008 and I didn’t know what it was. Now, I think I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit not knowing that it was it. I only realized that I might have committed it because I dreamed of hell already. I dreamed that I was in a car and was looking for a way out then two huge walls blocked my way and there was only one way out and it was pitch pitch black.
I think I denied Christ because I wasn’t ready to follow him at that time but now I’m regretting what I did, but I think its too late for me. I pretended that I didn’t know the Holy Spirit because I wasn’t ready to surrender myself, I wasn’t aware that I am committing the unforgivable sin. Please be honest and tell me, I am preparing myself for the worst.
Someone has you really confused. First of all, you should understand that the Lord’s mention of an unpardonable sin in Matt. 12:31-32 was in response to the Pharisees’ accusation that He was using the power of Satan to drive out demons. He called this an act of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit and said it would never be forgiven. So remember, those Pharisees committed a willful act of blasphemy and were not believers. This cannot be compared to what you think happened in your case.
Second, belief in the so called Baptism of the Holy Spirit is by no means universal in the Church, but even among those who do accept it, the baptism is seen as something that only happens to people who are already believers. According to Ephesians 1:13-14, 2 Cor. 1:21-22 and others the Holy Spirit was sealed within you at the moment you believed and nothing can ever “unseal” Him. God has accepted responsibility for you and has guaranteed your inheritance.
And third, you seem to be basing your conclusion on a single dream you had, which is not a reliable method by any stretch of the imagination.
So if it’s even possible to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit without knowing it, your rejection was not a case of willful blasphemy and you were already a believer. Therefore since you were born again before this incident, then you still are, and there’s nothing you or any one else can ever do to reverse that.