I am in desperate need of advice. To describe my overall state would indeed be that of cognitive dissonance. I am so extremely anxious to serve to Lord with my life, I have forgotten – if I had ever known – what his truest desire is for us: to love him. But how? I want nothing more, but I find it nearly impossible amongst the chaos of daily living, striving for a meager existence. I’d just as soon leave everything, my home, my job, my family. All I want is to love him, and to give my life to his service. Please help.
It sounds like you might be getting frustrated with the routine of your life. My advice is to focus on loving the Lord. Remember, love is something you do, not just something you feel. You love God by talking with Him, reading His book, worshiping him, and living in a manner that pleases Him.
In your case, you can also show your love for Him by cherishing and supporting your family. As men we are commanded to love our wives (Colossians 3:19) encourage our children (Colossians 3:21) and do our work to the best of our ability, as if we’re doing it for the Lord, and not just our employer (Colossians 3:21-23).
Our motivation for doing these things is two fold. One, it’s a good way to express our love for the One who gave His life for us. Two, even if your wife, your family, or your boss are not as appreciative as you think they should be, you can rest assured that the Lord will find a way to show His appreciation, because you know you’ll receive an inheritance from Him as a reward (Colossians 3:24). When we honor God, He will not let us be dishonored.
God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).