How Can We Stop Arguing?

Q. Ever since we made a public declaration that we are getting married, challenges don’t stop coming our way. We are both saved and we know that every external challenge that brings about a conflict in our spiritual commitment is an act of the devil because he is after our destiny and what God is ready to do through us. But when we misunderstand each other, the conflict becomes unbearable and it feels as if the whole world is against us. This has been continuing for some time. What can we do?

A. Since you and your husband-to-be are both believers, your eternal destiny is settled and Satan can’t do anything about it (Ephesians 1:13-14). But if you let him, he can still try to make you unhappy in the here and now. And we know he is especially interested ruining Christian marriages because he knows God intends them to be a model of Christ and the Church (Ephes. 5:22-32). If he can damage yours even before it begins he will have won a great victory. The fact that you already understand who the real enemy is here is an important step toward defeating him.

I think James 4:7-8 has some good advice for you. It says, “Submit yourselves then to God. Resist the devil and he’ll flee from you. Come near to God and He will come hear to you.”

To apply this verse, agree with your fiance that you’ll stop and pray together whenever either one of you feels a conflict coming on. After you’ve prayed, remind yourselves of the things you like about each other. Rejoice in the fact that the Lord has brought you together and He will give you peace (Phil. 4:4-7).

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