Q. I have a question about marriage. I have seem to be at the end of the rope with mine. This is my second marriage and I am emotionally overwhelmed. To make a long story short, my husband has an addiction to pain meds. He is verbally abusive, lazy, irresponsible, a liar, and an addict. I have forgiven many times before but I feel drained. I do not think I can move forward with this marriage.
Since God hates divorce, do you think it’s my Father’s will that I stay in a relationship that is not healthy for either me or my children and continue with my faith in the Lord for my husband’s deliverance? What if he doesn’t want to be delivered? Is it wrong for me to want to leave him?
I want so much to please God but I am not happy. Everyday is a struggle and I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know the Lord sees motive, and I fear that my motive is not to help my husband by leaving, but rather to put an end to the unhappiness that I feel around him.
A. God does hate divorce and his preferred solution to relationship problems is always reconciliation. You didn’t mention whether your husband is a believer not, or if you’ve considered a trial separation to see if that will help him realize the seriousness of the problem. Nor did you say anything about any attempts at marital counseling. This tells me you may be right about your motives, that you’re looking for a way out of the marriage, instead of looking for a way to save it.
Check yourself on this. Having been divorced before maybe your solution to relationship problems is to leave when you’re not happy. My advice is to get some good counseling to help you work through your options before you make any decisions, so you don’t wind up in the same situation a few years from now with another man.