Q. I’m a Christian woman in a relationship with a Christian man. We go to the same church. We had recently moved in together and things are not working out well. I have an ex boyfriend who I give spiritual advice to. My current boyfriend told me that I shouldn’t be counseling my ex boyfriend, only him. Since we’ve been arguing lately I notice how he yells at me around my children. I don’t think they should be around this type of behavior. I recently told him we can no longer live together, that we need to get our relationship together before we go any further. Of course he feels its all my fault that all my attention should be spent on him. What should I do?
A. There are several things about your situation that have put you outside of the Lord’s benevolence and made you fair game for the enemy’s mischief.
First of all you’re not living your life in a manner that’s pleasing to the Lord. You’re living with your boyfriend, but don’t consider yourself to be married.
Second, you’re involved in some kind of a relationship with a former boyfriend. These are both symptoms of a lack of commitment on your part.
You’re doing the right thing by moving back into separate quarters. Now you should confess your sins and be forgiven so you can restore your most important relationship, the one you have with the Lord (1 John 1:9).
Then, if you are serious about trying to make this current relationship work, tell your former boyfriend to find someone else to be his spiritual adviser and focus on your current boyfriend.
By doing these things you may find that your current relationship will improve, or you may realize that you’re both too focused on your selves to be in a relationship with each other.
Either way you’ll come out ahead because when you put the Lord in the center of your life, you’ll find that every other part of it will improve, too.