Relationship Problems

Q. I am currently living with a man (we are not married). He doesn’t see what is happening in the world the way I do and he does everything he can to prove me wrong about the End of Days approaching. I love this man but I don’t really want to marry him with the way his belief system is. I feel far away from the Lord sometimes when he is at home and I feel like Satan is working through him to discourage me. I feel such conviction for not being married which never bothered me until I began my walk with Jesus. I feel that the Holy Spirit is making me feel convicted and I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be left behind!!!

A. Your situation is an example of the primary reason the Lord does not want believers to marry unbelievers (2 Cor. 6:14-18). We see the world differently and this difference can have a powerful negative influence on the relationship. Your statement that you “really don’t want to marry him the way his belief system is” indicates to me that you are beginning to understand that.

But if you remain as you are, you will be out of fellowship with the Lord, and fair game for our enemy who will gleefully use your partner to steal your joy. Being a believer, you won’t be jeopardizing your salvation and won’t be left behind, but the contention in your relationship will only get worse as you grow in your faith and you will live an unhappy, defeated life as a Christian.

The conviction you’ve felt since becoming a believer is the Holy Spirit admonishing you to change the nature of your relationship. If you love this man, and want a life with him that’s also pleasing to the Lord, you have to bring it into compliance with Biblical standards for unmarried couples, and give him an opportunity to see you as a faithful Christian woman. To me this means living separately and remaining chaste.

If he truly loves you, this could lead to a new relationship in which he comes to know the Lord and helps make the Christian marriage you want possible. But it could also cause Him to move on. Either way, the Lord has promised to work everything out for your good, as He does for everyone who loves Him (Romans 8:28). When we honor Him, He will not dishonor us.

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