Caring For My Mother

Q. My family is struggling with whether or not it is appropriate to put an elderly parent with severe dementia in a nursing home. My Mother needs diaper changes, and 24 hour supervision and care. The only way I could care for her is to be separated from my husband, who also has a serious illness and needs my help. My Mother has been staying with another relative who is at their wits end taking care of my mother, who because of the dementia is vicious to them, falsely accusing them of all sorts of things. We are all Christians and we forgive mother for her behavior, but the situation is very bad. Is it wrong to put a parent in a quality nursing home under these circumstances? I want to do what is right in God’s eyes.

A. I think honoring your mother means getting her the best care possible under the circumstances. If your husband also requires personal attention, then he’s your first priority (Ephes. 5:22-24). If there’s no one else who can do it then in my opinion entrusting your mother’s care to competent professionals is the correct choice, as long as you all maintain your relationship with her as her family.

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