I too have mixed feelings but for a different reason. I want be taken up in the rapture as soon as possible, but I have a calling to lead more to Christ before it comes. I want as many as possible to be saved and don’t want to leave until He is done using me for that purpose. I trust that His timing will be perfect.
God does not put conflicting desires into a believer’s heart. He’s not the author of confusion, but of order. If you have such a calling, then it will be complete when the rapture comes. In the meantime you are not to let your work here diminish your longing for His appearing (2 Tim. 4:8).
Remember, although the Church in Ephesus was commended for it’s work, the Lord criticized them because they had forsaken their first love (Ephes. 2:4). We are not to become so focused on the King’s work that we forget about the King.