Q. Hello again, and keep up the good work. I was wondering why it seems that men in particular seem to have a problem with lust and sexual sin. I know women deal with this too but it seems mainly to be a male problem. Is it the way we were made? And how can I as a single person deal with the physical side of it without giving in? Thanks for all your help, and keep looking up.
A. I’ve always felt that for men the sexual urge is tied to our need for conquest. That’s why some men who would never dream of abandoning their wives still look lustfully upon other women.
Paul had this to say about sexual urges. “I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Cor. 7:7-9)
Paul felt that his ability to re-direct his sexual energy into his work was a gift from the Lord. But he understood that not everyone had this ability and prescribed marriage for those who were being distracted from their efforts to remain holy by their sexual desires.
We know from Paul’s other writings that he wasn’t recommending marriage just for sex, but that among its many other benefits marriage provides an acceptable outlet for our sexual urges.