Q. I don’t know where to begin. I came across your web site and thought to give it a try. I, believe it or not, am ashamed and a minister as well. I have committed adultery and have repented of it. I have also been counseled by my previous pastor and prayed with him as well (confess your faults one to another). The day I called him I had a breakdown and he said the Lord put in his spirit the previous night to call me so the Lord opened the door for us.
My question is since I repented (1 John 1:9) and counseled with my pastor should I move on or tell my wife? I don’t feel led to tell her. I understand the nature of the sin I committed against a Holy God. I was not caught and I confessed as humbly as I know how to. I am curious on your thought.
A. In Psalm 51:4 David claimed in his prayer of repentance that he had only sinned against God, even though he had committed adultery with a woman, gotten her pregnant, and had her husband killed.
In my opinion, the only reason to inform your wife is to protect her in case she could find out from anyone else, or if there’s a risk of transmitting some disease to her. Otherwise, you’ve confessed and repented and God has purified you from all unrighteousness.
But you should take this as a sign that something is seriously wrong in your relationship with your wife and needs to be addressed. Sexual sin is Satan’s most powerful weapon against pastors, and by some estimates drives 3 pastors from their pulpits each week in the US. Don’t become part of this statistic.