My question is, what are the blessings you talk about? I have tried to find the Lord and have accepted Him long ago. But I see no blessings in my life. I was shot a week after I came to the Lord and that shattered my trust in Him. In that same week my brother’s child died. After that I did things my way and it worked. But when I returned to the Lord everything fell apart again.
Although what you write I know to be the truth it just does not manifest in my life. I’ve tried to work on my faith but have reached my end and feel like giving up. I cannot tell you how hard I’ve tried but to no avail. I do not know what to do from here, and see no good outcome.
Sometimes the enemy mounts a very strong attack against a new believer, hoping to make him reject God. Every case is different. Sometimes it’s because the enemy knows that the believer will impact a lot of people, other times it’s because he’s built a stronghold in the believer’s past, or even somewhere in the believer’s family, and thinks he has a claim on the believer’s life.
When a person like this gives his heart to the Lord, the enemy has lost his claim, but will keep harassing the new believer to prevent him from experiencing the joy of his salvation. I think this is happening to you. When you try to get closer to God the enemy afflicts you, and when you back away he stops.
There may be reasons why it appears that God isn’t doing His part. First of all the enemy may have a legitimate claim, like he did with Job. This means there are some unconfessed sins in your life that give him limited access to you. Or the enemy may see that his effort is paying off because every time things get bad, you back away from God.
So here’s what I suggest.
1) Ask some believers who you trust to pray over you to renounce the ways of the devil, and ask the Lord to reveal any sin that may be preventing you from achieving a full and joyful relationship with Him. If He brings something to mind confess and you’ll be forgiven. It could be unresolved anger toward someone, or toward God, or it could be some occult or pagan practices you’ve been involved with in the past.
2) Study Romans 8:28, Philippians 4:4-7, 2 Cor. 10:3-5, and James 4:7-8, and begin thanking God for everything that happens, both good and bad. You can do this because Romans 8:28 say that God is working everything in your life together for your good, Phil 4:4-7 says if you rejoice about everything and are fearful of nothing you’ll receive the peace of God, 2 Cor. 10: 3-5 says that we have divine weapons and can demolish the enemy’s strongholds, including any thoughts he puts in our minds that contradict what the Bible says, and James 4:7 says that when we resist the devil he will flee from us.
It may take a while, but these are promises that God has made to you and cannot be broken. If you do these things faithfully you will be blessed, because He who is in you (God) is greater than he who is in the world (Satan). (1 John 4:4)