Q. I have been married for 14 years and am currently having an affair with another man. If I am the one to initiate a divorce will I ever be able to marry again or am I going to have to remain single? I know God hates divorce and I also know that a divorce can only come if there is adultery. But I am the one having the affair and the one wanting the divorce. Which is worse to have the affair or get a divorce?
A. Your adultery gives your husband the option of seeking a divorce without sinning, but not you. According to the Lord both committing adultery and divorcing your husband for any other reason than his infidelity are sins. Also, in 1 Cor. 7:10-11 Paul said a woman must not leave her husband, but if she does she must remain unmarried. He said this because to marry another man would make her an adulteress. Of course sex outside of marriage is equally forbidden.
If your objective is to avoid further sinning, your only course of action is to end your affair and reconcile with your husband. The Lord will bless you for this in ways you can’t begin to understand.
Now I must tell you that if you get a divorce and marry the man you’re having an affair with (or anyone else for that matter) the Lord will forgive you. As soon as you became a believer His death covered all the sins of your life. But His forgiveness will not relieve you from the earthly consequences of your actions. The pain and suffering caused by divorce will afflict both you and your family for some time to come. And if the man you want to leave your husband for has a family they will also suffer the consequences of your actions. This is a matter for serious consideration.