Why Is My Husband Like This?

Q. I’m new to this site, but have been a Christian all my life. I have a perplexing problem that is the sand in my shoe. My one and only husband of 35 years, always says my faith is a fake. He really says things that hurt me and we don’t do simple things like praying together or reading the Bible together. When he dumps on me, I try to consider and make allowances for what is going on. I hope he sees the light, that what I do, I do for real, and believe with me.

I ask the Lord to help me and so far, I do not understand. Maybe you could tell me what I’m missing. I’ve asked the Lord of my life, Jesus my Savior, to take me as I am. I believe the Bible and it says all those who come to the Father through Jesus Christ will be saved. I’m baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. I take communion and examine myself regularly. I read the Bible and gain insight. I love people more. God answers my other prayers so I can understand; what does it mean that my spouse is so cruel?

We go to the same church, but he does not want to go to the same Sunday school classes or worship services with me, so I’m alone much of the time. This is an ongoing issue throughout our entire married life. We have a new pastor who is just learning the congregation (we go to a Methodist church), and I do not feel comfortable asking him. I do not want to bring attention about this issue with anyone else at church either, because they see my husband as a good man and I do not want to hurt our two sons, ages 25 and 21 and their spouses, either. If I showed this email to him, he would get very angry and sarcastic.

A. From your letter, it appears your problem has nothing to do with your faith and has everything to do with your relationship. You say your husband has been acting this way through out your life together, and my question to you is why? Have you ever asked him? It’s hard to believe, but he may be unaware of the effect this is having on you. I suggest you study Matt. 18:15-27 and use it as a guide for speaking with him about it. If that fails, and you don’t feel comfortable speaking with your husband about this in the presence of your pastor, find someone else, perhaps your sons. They’re both adults, and you might be helping to prevent a similar problem developing between them and their wives in the process.

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