Can We Have Sex?

Q. My husband had been abusing drugs in our home with our children present. The situation was becoming violent, so I took the children and left before anyone got hurt. After much begging and pleading with him to get help, I decided to divorce and try to move on for my kids’ sake.

He is in recovery now, and his relationships with the Lord and his family are very strong. He takes personal responsibility for everything that has happened. We have discussed remarrying someday. We are very much in love and do not feel in our hearts like we are divorced. Personally, I feel like we are only divorced on paper. Are we fornicating if we have sex? We want to get remarried, but I want to wait until he has held down a job and a stable residence for at least a year after he finishes recovery.

A. Both Old and New Testaments agree that sex outside of marriage is a sin. By your reluctance to re-marry your ex-husband until he gives more evidence of recovery, you’re saying that in your heart you’re not really married to him now. Until you’re ready to marry him you should abstain from sexual relations.

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