I write to you feeling very embarrassed and downcast. I love the Lord Jesus but there is sin in my life I don’t seem to get victory over.

Sometimes I feel that I’m not really born again and that I’m only deceiving myself. But I must state that I don’t only believe God exists but know He does and that only Jesus can save me, because I definitely have no way of saving myself and have received the free gift of salvation, but only to go on embarrassing myself and the Lord’s Name whom I confess. I know Satan must be laughing all the way and it makes me feel even worse. Sometimes I feel like committing suicide to stop from being what I am, but only to doubt that I’m saved and then would go to hell, where I know I belong, but really don’t want to go there. I always walk around waiting for God to punish me, it’s become an expectation.

I have asked the Lord that I would write to you honestly and prayed that He would give you advice so you can give it to me. I don’t want to go or be lost. Please help.

Here is my question to you. We are all sinners, and though I thank God every day for all he has provided me, and beg him to not leave me, how do I know when all is said and done and I am standing before God he will not say to me, “Be gone! I know you not.” Several of us were talking about this and I thought I would ask you. We do believe that Jesus is the son of God made man that came to earth and died for our sins that we may know everlasting life in heaven. It is only by the blood of Jesus washing us clean that we can ever hope to stand before God the father and hope and pray he tells us welcome. So there you have it. Can you help?

I’m reading the Old Testament for the first time and I’m currently in Numbers. Through the Mosaic covenant, God sounds more like a megalomaniacal, power-crazed dictator or tyrant who commands respect and will kill anyone at whim for the slightest disloyalty or disobedience- more along the lines of a mafia boss. This personality and leadership style is very different than the Jesus of New Testament who didn’t kill anyone, didn’t turn anyone into pillars of salt. He didn’t say, Peter, you will deny me 3 times and afterward, I will kill you for being disloyal. He forgave everyone who was meek and humble and taught love, peace, and forgiveness. I guess I grew up as a child of the 70s believing God was more like a 60s hippy pacifist “peace and love man”. If Jesus says if you know me you know my father, then why such a contrast in personalities between God of the Old Testament and Jesus of the New Testament?

In Ecclesiastes 3:11 depending on which Bible you are using, King James says world, others say eternity, when you look the word world in Hebrew in that verse it says eternity for a meaning, wouldn’t this change the meaning of the verse?

Jesus said that if a man looks on a woman with lust, in his heart he has already sinned with her. Also if if you hate your brother it is as if you have murder in your heart. If anger is as bad as murder and lust as bad as adultery, does this apply to dreams? If you sin in your dreams does it count as sin, since it may reflect the motive of your heart?

I see no God in my life. He says to Love Him. How about showing us His Love. I am sick & tired of living. I have suffered my mental illness and many other physical and mental issues all my life and what for? I am in a marriage where my conditions make life for my wife hell and I do not want to continue on this way. We have prayed for years and so have others for Divine Intervention in our marriage and in my life and as of today which is our 24th marriage Anniversary, I am just worn out trying to love an unlovable God. All I see in this world is the destruction of man, body & soul. God is nowhere to be found. Why does the Bible say one thing and yet it does nothing what it says God will do? Why should I go on living in an ungodly World and a God who does hear the screams of prayer toward Him? No one seems to be able to answer my questions and I am tired of waiting on God to deliver me from my anger, fears and etc. You would think that after 30 years as a Christian he would answer me, but alas he does not.

I have a quick question about the BEMA judgment. I believe the BEMA is a judgment of works, not of salvation, that occurs shortly after the rapture and takes place in heaven for christians only? My question is, will there be regret in heaven? Will christians who did not do much for the Lord on earth be regretful in heaven after the BEMA? If so, wouldn’t that allow sorrow to persist in heaven and worse throughout eternity? At the same time, I see passages like Revelation 21:4 that say there will be no more sorrow. How does this work?

In studying the the subject of the trinity I came across I John 5:7. I have been told that this text is not in the Septuagint, the oldest Greek version of the Bible. If this verse is not in the Septuagint does that mean it is not inspired by God? How would one know if it is in the original?

I happened to run across a web site where a man is stating that the ‘last trumpet’ is at the end of the Tribulation and that a man in the 1800’s called John Nelson Darby changed the timing of the Rapture to before the Tribulation but before that it was believed it would happen at the end of the Tribulation. I may not be explaining what this man said very well but I think I got the general gist of it. You’ve probably heard of this man and what he believes. Please could you explain why he is wrong.

In Matt. 8:28-34 Jesus cast a number of demons out of 2 men in into a herd of pigs who then plunged into the Sea of Galilee. Mark and Luke both say there was only one man and locate the event in a different place.

Is this the same event, a contradiction, or just a different aspect from the Gospel writers being told? Are Gergesenes and Gadarenes the same? Did Luke focus on the one man and the details about him rather than two men like Matthew and Mark do?